What does it take to make a friend? A normal question with not so normal answers in some cases. 

One of these situations of not the usual answer happened to me luckily not that long ago. 

As some would suspect from my background, I am not the most open person at times because of the kind of work I did many years ago - that work was in the justice system where one does not necessarily develop a natural affinity to make friendships with everyone. 

Paint Everyone with the Same Brush? 

But, one thing that should never be compromised is the ability to give everyone a fair hearing without prejudice or malice. In other words, do not paint everyone with the same brush because of past circumstances.

 

I had occasion to be a vendor at a local market and during a lull in customers, I took a walk around the rest of the craft show. I came across another vendor who was displaying similar products and stopped in to preview his work. 

As soon as I walked in his area, he came over and started to chat. As he began to tell me about his work, I sensed that there was more to his casual discussion than first appeared. 

Sure, he was friendly and quite knowledgeable about his craft but there was more to him than what first was presented.

Just As I Suspected 

I began to ask him about what he did before he became an artisan and learned what I had suspected. He had been a drug addict and had served time in prison. 

Now, years ago, I would have simply thanked him for his time and left. But, as time would have it, and as I was not given to make prejudicial judgments, I remained to listen to his story. 

And, what had been a happenstance meeting turned out to be an open dialogue where we both shared our backgrounds. 

He had made a complete reversal in his life. He had made a decision to become a better person, clean from drugs and turned his life around partly by focusing his energy on his craft. 

And, to make his life even more challenging, he had suffered a severe industrial accident that left him with one eye, a crushed esophagus that meant he could not eat solid foods ever again.

 

We must have chatted about our differing backgrounds and experiences for well over an hour, and this conversation continued off and on for several weeks whenever I happened to be in town. 

The long and short is that we are very good friends to this day appreciating each others background and being openly accepting of what made our lives different and unique. 

Makings of a Friend 

The making of a friend, for me, means being accepting of others, not to prejudge, to give each person an opportunity to express whom they are without jumping down their throat, or assuming that they are unworthy of my time.

 

Each of us is unique and we all are different. We are neither better nor worse; we are just different. Friendship will not happen unless you are willing to.